The Toad's Burrow

      Look, I've played my fair share of old games, and time and time again, the same process occurs, it's ridiculously clunky and jank, forcing you to trudge through the mud until it just clicks, it finally all makes sense and everything becomes infinitely easier. That is how I felt playing Star Wars Knights of the Old Republic for the first time. I mean it isn't the first time I've played a game from the 2000's, I've played Morrowind , and I'm not completely stupid, but I'm going to be completely honest, if it wasn't for the captivating story holding it all together, I'd be hard pressed to recommend this game to in the year 2023.     I'll get it out of the way immediately, this game is ugly, frankly if you told me this game was developed in the 90's (it probably was to be honest) I wouldn't bat an eye. There's a fast travel, called transiting, but it makes no sense, why is it that I can transit in certain zones, and in other zon...

      What? There's no way I just watched this entire film, and that's it. For the one (me) person who has been watched this film shortly after completing Ant-Man and the Wasp , one aspect I heavily disliked about this film was that it felt aggressively generic, and it should have utilized the Quantum Realm, because it pretty much took place on the streets, making it relatively mediocre. However, I am now disappointed after realizing, Marvel had pretty much no plans on making the Quantum Realm that interesting, and frankly now I'm asking why should people genuinely watch this movie, other as a stepping stone or hype machine for future ones.          First, Spy Kids. I'll preface this by saying I might have watched some Spy Kids movies as a kid, but I cannot remember any of them. Despite this, even off of the few screenshots I always see from the film, I can confidently say that this film reeks of it. No seriously, from the aggressive orange i...

           No seriously what happened? The way this movie is set up, and how it actually played out, contrast greatly with one another. I mean the premise of the movie is literally, Scott Lang is under house arrest, and is approached by Hank and Hope Pym in order to save Hank's wife, Janet Van Dyne, under suspicion that she might in fact be alive, contrary to what they previously though. Now, this sounds like great setup for a movie right? And it would be, except for one small fact, they can barely show the quantum realm in this movie because they're actually planning on using it for the third movie so enjoy a movie that takes place entirely in the real world with two and a half villains that are all a bit half baked.     First, lets talk villains, because frankly, I'm not sure the producers of this movie knew who it was supposed to be as well. From Sonny Burch and his "mysterious crew" to a "supervillain" literally called Ghost, to random en...

          Wait the show really ended like that? Before I explain, let me backtrack first, and appreciate She Hulk  for what it did right. In terms of Marvel TV Shows, I have not been the biggest fan of them, and for good reason too, they all feel like they're trying to replicate the grandeur of the movies with a tenth of the budget, and you just end up with a mediocre six episode mini series that has you just saying why? Like Hawkeye before it, I love the concept of She Hulk , gone are the big bad fights that plagued both Moon Knight  and Miss Marvel , in are camp characters and just general unserious that Marvel has been missing.     In my mind She Hulk , uses a formula that Marvel has needed for these six episode miniseries, it focuses on being a TV show first, and adding superheroes second. It is not event driven, rather it is more character driven, which is how the shows should be, considering it is audiences first encounter with the...

      When I first saw the teaser trailer for Black Panther: Wakanda Forever  I'll admit that it moved me, I was not some giant Chadwick Boseman fan, but the mix of Alright  by Kendrick Lamar and No Woman No Cry  was so powerful in my eyes. Therefore, I had high expectations for this movie, I had already heard that it was not only a worthy tribute to Boseman, but it was also one of the few movies in this new stage of Marvel that people could confidently agree was excellent.      And I can safely say that, it reached my expectations, though frankly I left wanting a bit more from the movie. It's not that the movie is bad, it's just that in my eyes it is very difficult to justify a movie having a runtime of 2 hours and 41 minutes. It's not like I thought that some scenes were useless, it's just that it could have hit some different points that I thought were more important. Honestly, it felt like Shuri should have been more of a focal point? Per...

    Just a thoroughly unserious movie through and through. This movie legitimately feels like Marvel told  Taika Waititi that he had to hit a couple of points: Gorr, other Gods, Lady Thor and then let him do whatever, because this movie really does feel like hitting some points on a board. I mean don't get me wrong, I too at times enjoy fight scenes with classic rock in the background, but it really just felt like on the script any time it was time for a fight, it would simply read "time for cool slow mo thunder shots".     I mean, everyone loves a little bit of mystery with their magic, but despite being 2 hours long, they reall do not explain anything about this, and therefore all of the battles just feel cheap and quick. Thor can give his powers to children now? Ok, but what was the point of getting his army. You can destroy his sword? Ok, but why was it so important to keep Stormbreaker away from him then. Stormbreaker is the key to it all? Ok...

      Once again, I open up this review with my classic anecdote detailing my connection to whatever I'm reviewing, but when it comes to Bayonetta  I'm about as well versed as anyone else, I literally only know her from playing Super Smash Bros . I mean it's a fun game don't get me wrong, but to be honest I feel like a lot of the hype for the game comes from the fact that this game is ridiculously horny, and I mean like yeah they're just spreading the legs for fun at this point.      When you open Bayonetta you are pleasantly greeted with the horniest thing you've ever seen. Frankly, I was mildly uncomfortable playing this game in front of my family, I mean Bayonetta is indeed hot, but surely we don't need fan service that rivals even the most degenerate anime I've ever watched. Like the game is great, and I love the combat, but all of the momentum and adrenaline is really dulled once you become hit with the longest cutscene known to man.   ...

          If you cut Hotline Miami 2: Wrong Number's length in half, and added some of the iconic music from the first game, I probably would not be complaining, because that's exactly what the original game was, which I absolutely loved. However, as much as I'm trying to enjoy its sequel, there's just too much wrong, too much off that stops me from enjoying this bloody, gory, high intensity top-down shooter.     First off, let's discuss that label and that genre in general, because as much as it might seem as if the game is meant to be fast paced, it's almost designed to be slow, grinding, methodical, and grueling. No, like seriously, too often do you kill enemies only to die to some random flying bullets from outside of the screen that are completely out of your control. Look, I understand wanting players to play your game with strategy, and fighting for realism, but it's a video game, it needs to be enjoyable.     Secondly, what ...

      I vividly remember my first experience with the Superhot  franchise. I was about 11 or 12, and I saw the demo on miniclip, and it blew my mind away. First of all, to have a game like this, with these sort of physics and gameplay on a web browser is astounding. Moreover, that was almost 10 years ago, and it is still fresh in my mind, I doubt any other sort of game has gameplay that even comes similar to this masterpiece.      Eventually, years later I did end up playing the game, and while I enjoyed it, ultimately I did not really feel the need to buy it at full price, citing the relatively short single player, and the cumbersome ending. Instead of making it more difficult, the game just ended up throwing more and more enemies, making it feel more like a game of hope you can hide, than just skill.      Luckily, I can safely report that Superhot: Mind Control Delete  does not suffer from those same issues, and I feel like lands ...