"Wicker" The Most Bizarre Film I've Seen in Ages

 

    What? What did I just watch. I came into this film with some knowledge of what it was going to be about, but I dismissed it. I watched one trailer for Wicker and thought to myself "this is some ridiculous romance plot" it sounds like it's going to be really bad. But I was wrong, I was completely wrong. This movie is insane in the best way possible. I don't know how else to describe it. It takes the premise so seriously, yet hyperfixates on marriage dynamics and sexuality in a way that is so blunt yet also kind of shallow at the same time? I don't know what to make of this film other than it was good, it was funny, and I totally loved it. Let's talk about it.

    You need to go into this film with an open mind, I promise you it will make it all that much better. I spent over half of this film with my mouth agape, just in awe that this film took every single curve and swerve that it decided to. It features so much talk of sex and relationships and yet is almost so utterly sexless at the same time? But it works? Like it's kind of the point? Like obviously Olivia Colman is 52, and is meant to be an old spinster, and Alexander Skarsgård as Wicker Husband is kind of horrifying and hilarious in the best way possible? Like he feels like half-child with the way he talks to slowly, and half old man in the way he moves so stiffly and creaks with every single movement. Honestly, I think it would have been worse if they tried to actually play this film up as sexy, with like two super young attractive leads.

    In this sense you can just focus on the absurdity of 1) someone actually commissioning a "Wicker Husband" and 2) this "Wicker Husband" being not only a very competent lover who breaks the bed every day, but by far the most loving husband in the entire film. Oh, and did I mention he canonically has a massive penis? Like at some points you think wow Wicker Husband is so kind, it's almost kind of cute, but you also can't take your eyes off of how uncanny he just looks and moves, and that's before this movie decides to throw in it's blunt humor and twists and turns.

    I will say though, I kind of felt like the Wicker Husband being this commentary on bad husbands was a little weaker than it should have been? Like on one hand there were very minor feminist undertones to this film, like with aspects such as the wedding collar or the way the wives talked about loveless marriages and how to please their husbands. I didn't even mind the fact that the villain attempting to maintain the status quo wasn't even a man, but rather a woman because women can often help reinforce the patriarchy. However, that's about as far as it goes? It's just really hard to seriously have that sort of discussion behind a backdrop that is so absurd. Like you really do not want to get into ethics when it involves a spouse that is basically learning about love for the first time from someone they are supposed to love. 

    I'm probably thinking too hard about it though. Basically, I do not mind that this backdrop exists with Wicker Husband emasculating many of the men in the village, especially with that hilarious cuckold scene. Even still, I would not get my hopes up and expect this film to take a particularly hard stance or send you any sort of strong moral message. Even though it's technically a happy ending, especially with the way the last twenty minutes decides to tie up loose ends, you don't feel particularly the best knowing what transpires between all of the characters.

    In spite of it all it's just so weird in the best way possible. Every twist and turn just makes you want to lean forward as you ask yourself how in the world it was possible for this film to ever be made. It is hilarious and creepy at the same time, and you just stayed glued to the screen waiting to see if what you're about to watch is a masterpiece or a slowly unraveling piece of garbage. At least to me, it was treasure. I will say a lot of it does come from shock value though, which is why I've hesitated to really go into too many details regarding this films plot, since I feel like if you read this before you watch it you won't enjoy it as much.

Final Score: 75/100

    I don't know who greenlit this project, but I thank them greatly for the service they've done for the art of cinema. Also on a side note I thought I was pretty good with understanding accents but this movie really threw me in for a loop as a filthy Canadian. Not to mention since it's set in roughly the medieval ages they sometimes use what us modern folk would consider more fanciful and formal language which makes it doubly difficult. All I will say is that I will not fault you for watching this film with captions if you ever see it on streaming. Basically, just don't think about it too much, and just enjoy whatever the hell happens, you'll appreciate it that much more.