"All Star Batman & Robin, The Boy Wonder" Hilariously Bad, Almost Entertainingly So

 


    What? Huh? I mean I've heard about this comic before, I know what it's about. But at the same time you think it can't be that bad. I mean this is the same guy who wrote The Dark Knight Returns and that's one of the best Batman stories out there. Except it really is that bad. Ten issues of some of the worst writing you've ever read. I'm unconvinced DC actually released this comic. If you ever wanted to see 2000's comic books at their worst, at their edgiest, at their dumbest, it's this comic. I mean just look at the thumbnail Batman is painted completely yellow and they play the scene seriously. Let's talk about this.

    If you told me a Batman hater wrote this comic I'd have believed you. In fact, if you told me this comic was written by someone who hates the mediums of comic books, I'd have believed you. The fact that Frank Millar, a very famous comic book writer, was supposed to have written this, I'd laugh in your face. But it's true. Look, I've seen people disparage Millers post 9/11 work, but I didn't realize it was this bad. I mean I enjoyed The Dark Knight Strikes Again but I was also a kid and still quite a large Batman fan. Even then, this comic is egregious.

    You just need to read the first issue. Batman holds Robin up like some toy and is like "welcome to war little man." Batman literally has sex with an insane Black Canary, who has an Irish accent for some reason? He also constantly uses slurs and just seems generally insane. Like his goals are not vengeance or justice it's just about inflicting as much pain as possible onto his victims, and cops, because Batman really hates cops in this universe. Like I don't think he's even nice to anyone in this book? Frankly, it's kind of hilarious everyone just calls him like really gay for having the batmobile and dressing the way he does.

    I mean don't even get me started on Dick Grayson as Robin. He legitimately hates Batman so badly it's hilarious. Batman makes him eat rats, he just lets him roam free with a giant axe in the batcave. He never actually even trains Dick by the way. Bruce is just like yeah I've been watching this kid from afar for years too bad I couldn't recruit him at 16 by the way he already has a black belt and is a great fighter anyways. Like he hardly even does much fighting as Robin anyways. In fact, the only time he really does any fighting is when he somehow nearly kills Green Lantern in the most absurd scene you'll have ever seen. 

Final Score: 25/100

    In all seriousness, this comic is like a 25 or worse. But as a comic book fan, I had a lot of fun reading this comic. If you take this as some hilarious parody, which was not the artists intention, then this is kind of a fun read, like a 60 or maybe even a 70. If you're taking this comic seriously then it's hot garbage. How did they only stop it after ten issues? They don't even have any real arcs by the way. They just introduce batgirl, introduce Black Canary, Vicki Vale is here for some reason? Oh and they have the bizarre justice league where Wonder Woman and Superman kiss even after disagreeing all the time based purely on sexual tension? Legitimately some hilarious stuff. Like it's so bad it starts to come back as funny I can't even deny it.


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