"Kiss All The Time. Disco, Occasionally." Endlessly Edging the Listener

 

    Ooh I should have come into this review lacking complete hope. Whether it was the unnecessarily odd title, the mid album cover, or the fact that Harry reminds me more and more of a dog with the more facial hair he decides to grow. A part of me still held out hope. He was a pop star, surely Harry could at least deliver one hit pop song off of this album. I mean even if I wasn't the biggest fan of Harry's House at the very least you could say it had As It Was, and Late Night Talking. Surely, the lead single was just an artistic choice to ease people into the sound of the album right? Sadly, it seems Mr. Styles has lot his way, at least in my eyes, even if to most he lost it when he posted that awful shirtless photo. So without further ado, my track-by-track review.

Kiss All The Time. Disco, Occasionally. - Harry Styles

Aperture - 65/100 I think this song is fine, but it's really missing a proper climax to make the payoff of the entire song stick. Think Happier Than Ever by Billie Eilish, none of that song would be worth it if there wasn't some sort of explosion at the end. Especially given it's length and it being the lead single Mr. Styles really missed the landing with this song.

American Girls - 60/100 Lyrically I'm not getting much from his song to be honest. It kind of suffers from the same issue as the last song in the sense that it doesn't really have any movement. It starts with the chorus and that pretty much carries the entire track until the end. Oddly enough, even though it's 3 minutes I felt that it was too short and just feels like Harry repeating the chorus a bunch.

Ready, Steady, Go! - 75/100 A little on the short side for me, but it's a pretty catchy tune that at the very least makes you want to dance a little and is decently interesting sonically to me.

Are You Listening Yet? - 50/100 When Harry said "If you must join a movement, make sure there's dancing" I really felt that because I'm deeply confused at why nothing in this album makes me want to dance. No one is joining the movement that is this album, it's not inspiring any movement from me. This song once again feels like Harry decided to edge listeners and nothing is riveting.

Taste Back - 65/100 Look my gold standard or pop records is Dua Lipa's album, Future Nostalgia, which is a high bar I understand, but I bring it up to say this song could have been so much better. I'm so sick of these pop stars and their subdued singing, the lowkey instrumentals. Be loud, be proud, don't be afraid to show off your singing chops, go belt out a note and hold it for a bar or two.

The Waiting Game - 40/100 I don't think it's unreasonable for people to call for violence against Harry Styles for the wrongs he's committed against us all.

Season 2 Weight Loss - 50/100 These songs are all fine, but it's just so disappointing to hear them. It could be so easy for there to be more. What if we gave a song a lively drum beat only to decide to sing at the same dull way for the 7th time in a row. 

Coming Up Roses - 55/100 I am begging Mr Styles to give me something. At least this is better than the last slow song but that's a low bar.

Pop - 45/100 Harry Styles gains self awareness when he sings the line "It's meant to be pop." Too bad like an addict to bad music Mr. Styles doubles down and once again edges people, thinking that maybe this time it'll hit with the listeners. 

Dance No More - 40/100 If Harry Styles respected his mother he'd make a song that's danceable. Also accurate title. 

Paint By Numbers- 40/100 WHO LET HIM DO ANOTHER SLOW SONG? Also this entire album feels very much by the numbers, like he's found a sound he likes and just keeps on spamming paste over and over again expecting different results.

Carla's Song - 50/100 I'm out bruh.

Final Score: 52/100

    I can't believe I'm saying this but this album unironically made me want to go listen to Sombr. Though if we're being honest that has more to do with The Veronica's great cover of 12 to 12 than anything. Why can't pop stars just be fun and dancy anymore? Olivia Rodrigo you're my last hope, Sabrina Carpenter can't hold the line forever. I mean Carly Rae Jepsen is pregnant so at this rate poptimism might be dead. I mean seriously this is just getting sad. Can't we have fun songs again? Have people forgotten what pop should be about? All of this to say Harry Styles I am never believing in you again. Maybe you shouldn't have disappeared off the face of the Earth. Maybe going outside more and being happy would help you make better music.

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