"Batman Returns" So Ridiculous It's Good

 

    You know what? I don't know what changes they let Tim Burton do from the last film to this one, but I have to say Batman Returns is pretty much exactly what I had wanted and expected. That's not to say I predicted everything in this film, it's pretty stupid in a great way. But also, it's just kind of funny, and that's all I needed it to be. It was never going to fulfill some comic-book fantasy of mine being as accurate or epic as possible, especially not with the way Batman's neck never moves still, but it managed to turn up the camp. Which means you go from Batman (1989) which was fine, albeit a little boring, to this, where Danny Devito's fatsuit looks worse and worse the more clothes he takes off, I have no idea what's up with Michelle Pfeiffer's Catwoman, and well this entire movie is just ridiculous in a good way. Let's talk about it.

    You could feel the change almost immediately. Instead of generic goons, the opening scene involves "the circus gang" which basically feels like it should have been Joker's goons last film, but I guess better late than never. The music is Kooky, they fight with a dog who drops bombs in stores, and also there's some monkeys too? This film never takes itself that seriously, and I think it works for the better, especially when you consider that the main villain of this film is Danny Devito. And let me tell you, I've seen a lot of Danny Devito work, and he's not afraid to put himself out there for this film. His green blood is pretty gross, him playing on the little Batmobile replica was funny, and overall a great villain in my opinion. I have no idea why his character started stripping near the end, or how no one noticed he just lived in the zoo, but who cares about small details like that?

    Moving onto the next big change, gone is Vicki Vale, semi-horny blonde, and in comes Selina Kyle, also horny blonde? The way the google synopsis presents this movie, I was expecting her to do more espionage, or anything closer to her origins of being a thief, but instead we got none of that? I'm not some Catwoman superfan so I don't care that much. but it is pretty funny watching her character magically die, become surrounded by a billion cats, and just start doing summersaults everywhere for the love of the game. I don't even know how she learned to fight, or why she decides to wear tight spandex sewed everywhere, but I must admit it's a pretty funny and ridiculous performance, and that's what I'm looking for. I mean she literally kills Shreck by kissing him through a taser. What more could be said?

    I mean the final act of this film has the penguin decide to ruin the city by "attaching rockets to his found family of penguins and having them shoot them into Gotham City." What? It's great, it's such a stupid plan because he shows he cares about them like two seconds later, you ask how this zoo amassed so many penguins because apparently no one notices anything there, and it's just so over the top like every other scheme that's run in this movie. Whether it be bats out of a Christmas tree, taking over the batmobile, or a giant rolling present. For better or for worse this movie keeps you on your toes and rewards you for discarding reality to appreciate the absurdity.

Final Score: 75/100

    The scores for the next two movies are really bad I don't know how eager I am to watch Bat nipples and Bat credit card enter the stage. That's pretty much the only thing I know about the next couple of films to be honest. Nevermind I didn't even know they recast Keaton for the next two films. How are they even connected in any shape or form? This makes no sense. Either way, I'm going to be honest I was underwhelmed with what Burton did last film, but this film reminded me maybe he can make a good film. I mean if I was a kid watching this movie I'd think it was the funniest thing of all time. Either way we'll see.