"Mean Girls (2024)" Who Was This Made For?


     This shit stinks, and I do mean that in the most generous way. If you had to ask me who this movie is made for I'm not sure. If you were looking for cheap laughs, something to make fun of, something so bad it's good, this movie is not for you, it feels so bad and sloppily put together, I'm fairly confident I could have come up with better choreography. At least it showcases all of those wonderful songs right? Well no, I remember reading somewhere that they did not market this movie as a musical because they generally don't test well with audiences, so why have singing at all in the first place then? This is a genuine question, because all songs are a minute in length at best, and they both abruptly start and end, leaving you disappointed.

    Here's how I described Mean Girls (2024) to a friend of mine, it's basically a soulless modern adaptation of a 2000's classic movie, but the director just happened to go see the Mean Girls Musical one time, and they liked some of the songs, but they weren't sure what to do with them, and audiences don't really like musicals, so they're just kind of shoved in there. It's not even like it's nostalgic or anything, I mean it's just ridiculous, it opens up with a shot of Cady in Kenya, but she's there for like two seconds before it switches to the school.

    And don't get me started on the performance, because if they're not there to dance, and they're not there to act, and they are most definitely not there to sing well, why did you choose these actors/actresses? I almost audibly gasped when I heard Cady's actress begin to sing, because she sounds so subdued, so muted, there's none of the liveliness or strong performances that make these songs stand out. I suppose some of it could be blamed on the song lengths, because they really can't shine otherwise, this movie barely feels like a musical as is, because they refuse to lean into the musical side at all.

    I have to ask, was there a mandate to include Janis and Damian as much as possible? Honestly, Damian was pretty funny at times, but they mostly exist to be narrators for some reason, and I cannot take Janis' character seriously at all. How is anyone supposed to sympathize with her, when she sings about how she's fighting against gender norms, and her friend who's an asshole, when she clearly manipulated Cady into being that way. She very clearly understood how impressionable she was because she had to convince her it was okay to go after the plastics. I don't know, it rings pretty hollow, and it irks me that there was a whole song dedicated to her breaking free, when she's pretty much as culpable as Cady.

Final Score: 20/100

    Twenty years later, I still say go watch Mean Girls or go watch the musical theater adaptation, I'm sure they actually did the songs justice instead of the mess they featured in this movie. I mean you shouldn't limit yourself, but there's a reason boundaries exist, because this movie clearly did not pick a lane, and no idea is well-thought out enough in this movie. Everything just feels off, from the choreography that appears at the most random moments, and typically involves the students acting like literal animals or shaking like they have a seizure, it's certainly not what I'd call high quality. I was severely disappointed by this movie, and if I had it my way, it would never have existed.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

"It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 1" What The Hell is This?

Image
      Look, Danny Devito was the only reason this show had any sort of foothold in my mind. I kept on repeating I'm the trash man through many of my younger years, and frankly, after looking at the absurd number of seasons, I've always been wary of starting this sitcom. In fact, I had even given it a shot before this, but no Devito, oddly low quality and format for the time period, and just general wariness had kept me from going past the pilot. Not to mention, you watch the first episode and just ask yourself, is this kind of racist? Is it bad that I might be laughing at how completely racist these characters are? Anyways, I did manage to get past the first episode, and even managed to complete a season, and I can safely say that I now understand what people mean when they point to this show to prove that "cancel culture has not ruined comedy". I mean in only seven episodes, the show decides to deal with racism, gay people, abortion, cancer, underage drinking, a litt...
Read more

"System Of A Down - Toxicity" Stick it Out for the Second Half

Image
      I have in fact tried listening to this album before. I remember Anthony Fantano saying he really loved Toxicity , so I decided to put on Prison Song  at 12 pm, before promptly realizing this is exactly the kind of music I'd rather not listen to going to sleep, and that the song was really on the nose. Other than that I have absolutely no prior experience with System Of A Down other than Chop Suey!  which is a lovely song that Jeff Rosenstock continues to play before every single one of his shows (thankfully). So I suppose I won't pretend to deliberate further because I'm not particularly a big metalhead either, so I doubt any knowledge I might impart would be useful. So without further ado, my track-by-track review. Toxicity - System Of A Down Prison Song  - 55/100 While the chorus and the song in general goes pretty hard, I have to say just the whole delivery of the verses is really holding this song back. Well other than the fact that it's pretty mu...
Read more

"McKinley Dixon - Beloved! Paradise! Jazz!?" Living Up To It's Name, and More

Image
      Do I listen to Jazz that often? Absolutely not. Do I know anything about McKinley Dixon? Nope. What I do know is that my friend Sweaty recommended this album, and when I listened to the track Run, Run, Run , Dixon's most popular track on Spotify I was absolutely hooked. All I know is that it is rated extremely high and it's very short for an album, so we'll see how that plays out. And without further ado, my track-by-track review. Beloved! Paradise! Jazz!? Hanif Reads Toni -  N/A Despite being over 2 minutes long I do think doing a spoken word poem is a cool intro. Especially with the music in the background, it creates this sort of tension and build up for when the music finally kicks in. Sun, I Rise - 80/100 Generally when it comes to rap music I'm not too picky about the songs in the sense that I just need a good beat and/or a catchy chorus to hook me, and the rest will come. I can confidently say that I feel that way about this song. The instrumentation in ...
Read more