"Pitch Perfect 3" I Had More Fun Writing This Review

 


    Are you proud of me? I vanquished my greatest enemy yet, the Pitch Perfect trilogy. Why you might ask? Well, because my sister wanted to bond with me, and so she so wisely chose a trilogy full of singing, which I gladly accepted, thanks in large part to my love of musicals, even if I was never the biggest accapella fan. What ensued was the quite possible the greatest decline I have ever seen in human history. Look, I think Pitch Perfect 3 is better than Pitch Perfect 2 but that's pretty much the equivalent of saying that you didn't fail with a 10%, you failed with a 20%. Everyone still thinks you suck so how much has actually changed?

    I'll give you a very quick rundown of what's changed. Everyone's together, and for a very thin reason, and they're all kind of depressed about their lives, but it's okay because they actually resolve this by having them somehow accept this for no good reason. Not to mention most of the plot points end up being resolved in a small end credits scene that ends up being played off as a joke? In addition to that there is some really confusing Fat Amy plot involving her father, who did "shady things" and a yacht which they proceed to blow up. They quite literally never go into this again by the way it's just kind of a way for them to have action and Rebel Wilson do stuff.

    There's also a new competition, and they have to compete with people who can play instruments, but they never actually beat them, they just start singing more but they're having fun so it's okay. Also the competition just abruptly ends there's very little singing in this movie, and frankly they it's mostly just in montages, do they not know why people enjoyed the first movie? Not to mention these bands just sort of disappear, also DJ Khaled is in this movie that is all I can say if you are as confused as I am I promise you this movie won't make it make any more sense. The only saving grace is that it's half an hour shorter than the second one but I kid you not my sister walked out of his movie and I had to finish it by myself.

    Everything pretty much resolves itself but only because they simply just change the circumstances with no payoff or buildup. It's the equivalent of saying I tied my shoes because I set fire to the shoelaces and therefore I no longer need to tie my shoes they are as tied as they can be in their current state. Look, the first movie was kind of cheesy but semi cute, it had characters, it had actual plotlines, it had way more singing than its successors combined. They really should never have made any sequels it just ruins any charm the first one had.

Final Score: 35/100

    Why did I sit through this entire movie? All I have to say is that I find Anna Kendrick kind of hot but I won't comment any further on a very obvious cashgrab.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

"It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 1" What The Hell is This?

Image
      Look, Danny Devito was the only reason this show had any sort of foothold in my mind. I kept on repeating I'm the trash man through many of my younger years, and frankly, after looking at the absurd number of seasons, I've always been wary of starting this sitcom. In fact, I had even given it a shot before this, but no Devito, oddly low quality and format for the time period, and just general wariness had kept me from going past the pilot. Not to mention, you watch the first episode and just ask yourself, is this kind of racist? Is it bad that I might be laughing at how completely racist these characters are? Anyways, I did manage to get past the first episode, and even managed to complete a season, and I can safely say that I now understand what people mean when they point to this show to prove that "cancel culture has not ruined comedy". I mean in only seven episodes, the show decides to deal with racism, gay people, abortion, cancer, underage drinking, a litt...
Read more

"System Of A Down - Toxicity" Stick it Out for the Second Half

Image
      I have in fact tried listening to this album before. I remember Anthony Fantano saying he really loved Toxicity , so I decided to put on Prison Song  at 12 pm, before promptly realizing this is exactly the kind of music I'd rather not listen to going to sleep, and that the song was really on the nose. Other than that I have absolutely no prior experience with System Of A Down other than Chop Suey!  which is a lovely song that Jeff Rosenstock continues to play before every single one of his shows (thankfully). So I suppose I won't pretend to deliberate further because I'm not particularly a big metalhead either, so I doubt any knowledge I might impart would be useful. So without further ado, my track-by-track review. Toxicity - System Of A Down Prison Song  - 55/100 While the chorus and the song in general goes pretty hard, I have to say just the whole delivery of the verses is really holding this song back. Well other than the fact that it's pretty mu...
Read more

"McKinley Dixon - Beloved! Paradise! Jazz!?" Living Up To It's Name, and More

Image
      Do I listen to Jazz that often? Absolutely not. Do I know anything about McKinley Dixon? Nope. What I do know is that my friend Sweaty recommended this album, and when I listened to the track Run, Run, Run , Dixon's most popular track on Spotify I was absolutely hooked. All I know is that it is rated extremely high and it's very short for an album, so we'll see how that plays out. And without further ado, my track-by-track review. Beloved! Paradise! Jazz!? Hanif Reads Toni -  N/A Despite being over 2 minutes long I do think doing a spoken word poem is a cool intro. Especially with the music in the background, it creates this sort of tension and build up for when the music finally kicks in. Sun, I Rise - 80/100 Generally when it comes to rap music I'm not too picky about the songs in the sense that I just need a good beat and/or a catchy chorus to hook me, and the rest will come. I can confidently say that I feel that way about this song. The instrumentation in ...
Read more