"Pitch Perfect 3" I Had More Fun Writing This Review

 


    Are you proud of me? I vanquished my greatest enemy yet, the Pitch Perfect trilogy. Why you might ask? Well, because my sister wanted to bond with me, and so she so wisely chose a trilogy full of singing, which I gladly accepted, thanks in large part to my love of musicals, even if I was never the biggest accapella fan. What ensued was the quite possible the greatest decline I have ever seen in human history. Look, I think Pitch Perfect 3 is better than Pitch Perfect 2 but that's pretty much the equivalent of saying that you didn't fail with a 10%, you failed with a 20%. Everyone still thinks you suck so how much has actually changed?

    I'll give you a very quick rundown of what's changed. Everyone's together, and for a very thin reason, and they're all kind of depressed about their lives, but it's okay because they actually resolve this by having them somehow accept this for no good reason. Not to mention most of the plot points end up being resolved in a small end credits scene that ends up being played off as a joke? In addition to that there is some really confusing Fat Amy plot involving her father, who did "shady things" and a yacht which they proceed to blow up. They quite literally never go into this again by the way it's just kind of a way for them to have action and Rebel Wilson do stuff.

    There's also a new competition, and they have to compete with people who can play instruments, but they never actually beat them, they just start singing more but they're having fun so it's okay. Also the competition just abruptly ends there's very little singing in this movie, and frankly they it's mostly just in montages, do they not know why people enjoyed the first movie? Not to mention these bands just sort of disappear, also DJ Khaled is in this movie that is all I can say if you are as confused as I am I promise you this movie won't make it make any more sense. The only saving grace is that it's half an hour shorter than the second one but I kid you not my sister walked out of his movie and I had to finish it by myself.

    Everything pretty much resolves itself but only because they simply just change the circumstances with no payoff or buildup. It's the equivalent of saying I tied my shoes because I set fire to the shoelaces and therefore I no longer need to tie my shoes they are as tied as they can be in their current state. Look, the first movie was kind of cheesy but semi cute, it had characters, it had actual plotlines, it had way more singing than its successors combined. They really should never have made any sequels it just ruins any charm the first one had.

Final Score: 35/100

    Why did I sit through this entire movie? All I have to say is that I find Anna Kendrick kind of hot but I won't comment any further on a very obvious cashgrab.

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