"Saints Row 2" This Game Stinks Man

 


    Look, I've played some buggy games before. I've suffered through Fallout: New Vegas and it's consistent crashing every 30 minutes, but at the very least the game had a world that I could explore for the rest of my life. I've played Pokemon Scarlet and Violet but at least I had nostalgia to justify playing the ugliest most unoptimized game I've ever seen. I've even played done completionist runs of literal porn games, curious to see how long it'd take to do them and if it would be worth it. But I will not mince words when I say I tried to finish this games story as quickly as possible, and uninstalled it just as quickly.

    My experience with the Saints Row series is exclusively playing Saints Row 4 as a child. Was it on the lowest settings? Of course. Do I remember anything about it considering I was 12? Of course not. Was I still excited to finally play the games in this series that brought me joy as one of the first games I bought? Of course. However, after playing this game, my expectations have not only been tempered, they've been shattered to the point that I'm genuinely concerned about whether or not people are just nostalgic about this series.

    I mean, it's not like it's really the developers fault for this game being as awful as it is, the truth is the PC port of this game is so hilariously bad it's almost comical that it's still being sold in it's current broken state on Steam. I kid you not, even with a mod many considered "essential" to fixing the game's issues, or at the very least alleviating it, I was still met with frequent crashes, and had to lower the difficulty of the game. Mind you, not because the game was actually difficult, but this game's "idea" of difficulty is spawning in more enemies, which lead to more crashes. 

    Like it's almost laughable how bad this game is. I mean even from the outset, I attempted to put on any sort of lighting, any sort of shaders, and was immediately met with performance that made me think my PC was broken. How in the world does a game released from 2008 perform more poorly than games 15 years newer than it? It's genuinely baffling, not to mention the fact that even with the mod I installed there are so many unfinished animations. Why does it just transport me onto jetski's? Why does it crash half the time I try on an outfit? How in the world have you created a game where I'm deathly afraid to use the guns that make the game more "fun" or "unique" because I'm scared it'll just crash and make me lose all my progress? All questions I ask myself as I play this.

    I mean, pretty much the only good thing about this game is that I imagine if I was playing on a console it'd be much nicer, but at the same time would it really? The minigames are fine, even if there are an obscene number of them, and the dialogue and characters are kind of funny. Frankly though, this game is pretty run of the mill as far as open-world games go. Personally, I'd much rather play a game like Sleeping Dogs, or if we're going with an older game perhaps the much more famous (and rightfully so), GTA: San Andreas

Final Score: 30/100

    This shit genuinely stinks man. Like I haven't been this bored playing a game in quite some time. Well, that's not saying much because in my mind I've been playing so many uninteresting games lately but at the very least I'm going through my Steam library. If you plan on playing Saints Row 3 or 4, I doubt you'll be missing much, I didn't really feel like I missed much from the first game. If I'm being honest just watch cutscenes on Youtube, you'll leave with much less time wasted and much less frustration.

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