"Scaring the Hoes - Danny Brown and JPEGMAFIA"


     Are you scared yet kids? Going into this collaboration album, my only knowledge of JPEGMAFIA included something about nice teeth with Anthony Fantano, and Danny Brown from my friend Sweaty. I had listened to the track Lean beef Patty and Scaring the Hoes before jumping into this album and I'll admit, I was a bit intrigued with what was offered. I mean I doubted I'd enjoy all the songs on the album, but it's a rap album, and frankly I almost never like all of the tracks on any album, regardless of genre. Also, this album is literally called Scaring the Hoes, I was a bit concerned on how goofy it might have been, but after listening to it, I was pleasantly surprised? Anyways without further ado, my track by track review. 

SCARING THE HOES

Lean Beef Patty - 85/100 What can I say other than that this song slaps way too hard for what it is. I mean I remember when Spotify first recommended this song to me. 100gecs type production that sounds like a blown out speaker and a super sped up chipmunk sample? I mean I couldn't believe it myself, but this song is insanely fun and I couldn't ask for more as a fan of hyperpop songs that typically have similar characteristics. I only didn't give it a higher mark because well it's kind of short but it's a fun ride while it lasts.

Steppa Pig - 70/100 Who knew all it took for me to enjoy rap more was to just make everything in the song incredibly loud, also I enjoy the beat. Feel like this song might be a bit longer than it needs to be? Not sure if how necessary the last JPEG verse is to be honest. To be fair the song is only three minutes long though so it's fine.

SCARING THE HOES - 82/100 Saxaphone reference???? At first I was pretty lukewarm on this track, especially compared to Lean Beef Patty but the chorus is kind of catchy I found myself singing it to myself at random times. Once again the return of the blown out speaker. I'm starting to think I'll just like the shorter songs on this album.

Garbage Pale Kids -  40/100 We are not feeling this song. The guitar solo at the end is something for sure, it's like they realized what they just made me listen to and are trying to make up for it. 

Fentanyl Tester - 50/100 I regret saying I really loved the part in Lean Beef Patty where it's just a song but sped up. I hope this album doesn't turn out like every other hyperpop album I listen to where I don't like half the songs but love the other half. What is up with the sample of that song, Milkshake at the end.

Burfict! - 65/100 I appreciate the boldness in sampling. Are we getting back on track? Danny Brown kind of works oddly well on this beat? It just gets a bit messy and all over the place once JPEGMAFIA kicks in but it's back to business as usual after that

Shut Yo Bitch Ass Up / Muddy Waters - 55/100 The beat gets kind of fun when he says "It's black AOC" whatever that line means. To be honest I'm starting to think my enjoyment of these songs is entirely dependent on how much I enjoy the beat.

Orange Juice Jones - 85/100 Woah, another good sample, this song kind nice. I have never heard this Michael Jackson song before but I am now a fan of Dear Michael and it goes great on this track as well. I mean it definitely sounds different on this track and I'm not sure Danny Brown can really bring the same R&B vibes on this song. It doesn't matter though cause this pairing oddly works nonetheless. Actually on second thought hearing Danny Brown talking about wanting to see D Cups is incredibly funny and I can't tell if it's in a good way or bad way.

Kingdom Hearts Key (feat. redveil) - 85/100 This beat and the sample is too nice Peggy has once again outdone himself this song is chefs kiss. It just goes hard and I love the verses from everyone whether it be JPEG, Redveil or Danny Brown. I also enjoy the transitions between all of the verses it oddly works?

God Loves You - 80/100 Once again my enjoyment of this album is directly correlated to just how fucking loud the track is. What the hell is Danny Brown rapping about though??? I'm almost impressed between all of the biblical references and sex. Like what is "Make her squirt that holy water, Drinkin' on wine but no communion, Only my dick she is consumin'" Kind of a fun track despite it all though. 

Run The Jewels - 60/100 Hmmmm, back to the horns section? Almost too short? I would have liked to see more.

Jack Harlow Combo Meal - 65/100 Not sure this is what I expected a track called Jack Harlow Combo Meal to sound like but at this point I'm not sure what I expected from this album. Oddly chill, and not that loud/in my face? Hmm never mind I just heard the autotune I might have to change my score (I did not end up changing it).

HOE (Heaven on Earth) - 50/100 This song is chill, almost too chill. Bring back the overly loud songs that go really fast. This song is fine but I didn't really get too much out of it I feel like.

Where Ya Get Ya Coke From - 45/100 This song is.... loud to say the least. I suppose it's not the strongest closer but and I randomly liked the album in 3 song intervals.

Final Score: 74/100

    Look I didn't enjoy all of the songs on this album, but to be honest it's short enough that if I were to relisten to this entire album, I wouldn't mind going through all of the other songs. While I don't like it as much as the critics do, because the ratings for this album online are absolutely mental, I can see why it's so acclaimed at the moment. At the very least I think people should go check out the songs I enjoyed, there's something to like for everyone even if you aren't that big of a rap fan. Except for maybe what Danny Brown raps about that might just turn you off completely if his voice already doesn't.

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